Cyrus
Cyrus (born April 8th, 1980) Is the lead interviewer for WWE's Raw is War and Smackdown! broadcasts, Hired personally by WWE Chairman Xavier Lovecraft. Independent Circuit and WWE. Cyrus made his interviewing Debut in Chikara Pro, he worked there for 4 years until he made he left for PWG where he only spent 3 weeks until he was hired by Xavier Lovecraft to join the WWE in 2000 Alliance With Robert Gay. On an episode of Raw Is War, during an interview segment with The Television Champion Robert Gay and his homosexual lifemate and bodyguard Ronald N. Cyrus came to realize he might be 48% gay and went on a "Gay Crusade" with the two through the city, this lead to half of the city being destroyed after they stole a tank and drove it through the town while Ronald N. rode on top of it while jacking off, they crashed it through the wall of a gay stripclub and Ronald used his brute strength to pin several of the male dancers down so Robert and Cyrus could "Tap that shit" After meeting the team of John Faggots and Bill Prison from Ring Of Honor, both groups decided to join forces as "The Gay Man's Whip" with Cyrus acting as their mascot and Interviewer, John Faggots became the unoffical leader while Ronald N. Became the muscle and Bill Prison acted as John's "Meth Supervisior" After about 3 months together, Bill Prison came to the others with the idea of traveling to the next Pay-Per-View in the back of a Uhall truck with some mexican driver so they can all party in the back and make it to the show. They all agreed and Bill and Ronald got to work setting the trip up, but things didn't go acording to plan as after 10 hours of partying in the back of the truck, they come to their stop and find out that instead of going to New York City for the PPV, the Mexican driver took them to Mexico, Cyrus and Robert Gay didn't notice at first since they were still dazed from all the drinking and gay sex from the night before, but once it all clicked together they were furious, but the Mexicans they were yelling at didn't take this too kindly and attacked them, The Gay Man's Whip had to fight their way to the run down arena the AAA Shows are booked in and held up there for several days until the spics broke in like a horde of zombies and they had to stage an impromptu Shoot-Rumble, as a Mexican witch doctor used "Black" magic to create a lava moat around the ring. Since Cyrus is not a trained wrestler, he was the weakest member in the fight, but the combination of his spirit and the crystal meth running through his veins made him a slightly better fighter so he didn't have to rely or Ronald N's protection as much as usual. After three hours of throwing mexicans into lava, the remaining spics fled the arena and The Gay Man's Whip had one last challenge to get through if they wanted to make it home - La Parka. While making his way down the ramp, The Witch Doctor, uses the most pow erful spell he knows to try and power up La Parka to insure the defeat of The Gay Man's Whip. The Witch Doctor pulls out a ancient obsidian dagger and slits his own throat, he falls to the grown but a neon green skeletal spirit flies out of The Witch Doctor's throat and imbues it's power into La Parka, La Parka grows to the height of 6'5'' and grows super strong, he also gains the ability to use magic. He enters the ring and the lava moat around the ring transforms into a green "Spirit Asylum" around the ring like the Hell In A Cell. Super Parka proves to be a very difficult enemy to put down, every punch he lands has some very light fire damage 'behind it and flies up several feet in the air when landing grapples such as the Chokeslam and Powerbomb. His increased strength makes him able to take down Ronald N, very easily, and Cyrus is no match for him whatsoever. After a long period of this one-sided battle, The Gay Man's Whip band together and gang up on him and get the upper hand, once they knock La Parka down to one knee, he sends all of them flying back with a shockwave spell and summons his steel chair from beyond the grave, he grabs it and starts playing air guitar on it. Cyrus finds a Rocket Launcher that one of the spics dropped and shoots La Parka in the chest, but his chair soaks up all the damage, La Parka isn't hurt but his chair is destroyed in the process. Enraged by the lo'' ss of his'' "Gravechair" he starts to charge at them like a raging bull, Cyrus and John Faggots secussfully dodge his attacks, but Ronald N isn't fast enough so La Parka knocks him into the cell like Tim White, while Robert Gay is sent flying throug the ceiling and ends up on top of the cell. Ronald N. pulls out a 15 foot ladder from under the ring and fights La Parka with it, in hopes that he can wear him down long enough so they can ues it to escape the cell, Ronald manages to get it at least 5 hits with it before La Parka grabs the end'' '''of it, floats up several feet and spins him and the ladder around in circles at incredible speeds, Robert Gay is able to lead down and punch him in the head a couple times which lossens his grip and sends both Ronald and the ladder flying against the cell. La Parka floats back down to the center of the ring staggered, a giant piece of concrete falls from the ceiling of the rundown arena and crushes La Parka. The Gay Man's whip quickly escapes the arena and sneaks over the border and the border patrol refused to let them in after Cyrus argued with them and lattered tried to bribe them with blowjobs, to which they declined. Category:Clowns